Butch, the Beagle

BUTCH'S LETTERS TO GOD:

Dear God,

When we get to heaven can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?

♫

Dear God,

Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler Beagle?

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Dear God,

If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

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Dear God,

Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Where are their priorities?

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Dear God,

More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

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Dear God,

When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?

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Dear God,

Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the Schnauzer across the street.

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Dear God,

Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

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Dear God,

We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?