Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
- In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? Why do we always want what we can't have? It's the same answer, honestly.
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?" Convenience. Why start somethign when you don't have the time to finish it. It's probably the same reason we don't have brawls in these supermarket. I mean, who fights in a supermarket anyway? I could just see a boy walking home, "Mum - I got beat up by a lady between the soup and bread aisle. I ran over her cat in her purse while I was pushing the cart and gliding." Really. Who does?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? By some twist of fate, maybe the remote control will continue working if we squeeze the wires together a liiiiiiiittle harder. I believe this is as effective as me talking to my computer. It's like, if I yell at it enough, the virus will get scared and just go away. Or maybe my baby-of-a-computer will love me enough to continue working instead of letting me cry in vain at it. Lol.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? You take it on faith man. *Grins.* It'll take a while to count stars, but if by George I'm sitting on that bench - I wanna check the paint. Heck, even if someone told me that the paint was wet, I would probably check it because I'm the moron I am.
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try? Actually, I've become a master of finding the right side. You look for the seams - at least if it's a trash bag. w00tiness.
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? I've never expected anything to materialize, per se. I just hope that the next time I look in on the fridge that something will come to mind for the pathetic victuals that I have. I mean, surely there'll be a new combination for mustard, a half a bag of lettuce and some spoiled milk some day!
And my FAVORITE…… The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends — if they’re okay, then it’s you.
30 comments:
when U had a thought ; I knew it was dangerous territory
Cuz i'm a bellyacher
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
dirt dog
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
dirt dog
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
farmer dog
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
old dog
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
dirt dog
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
jungle dog
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
plain dog
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
war dog
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
dog
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
charlton heston dog
Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?
random dog
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
clean dog
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
sleepy dog
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
hungry dog
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
clean dog
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?
dog
How do those dead bugs get into those closed light fixtures?
dog
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
just old dog
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
dog
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
winter dog
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
son in law dog
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it?
I told you so dog
AND NOW FOR SOME OF THE ANSWERS
- In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? Why do we always want what we can't have? It's the same answer, honestly.
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?" Convenience. Why start somethign when you don't have the time to finish it. It's probably the same reason we don't have brawls in these supermarket. I mean, who fights in a supermarket anyway? I could just see a boy walking home, "Mum - I got beat up by a lady between the soup and bread aisle. I ran over her cat in her purse while I was pushing the cart and gliding." Really. Who does?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? By some twist of fate, maybe the remote control will continue working if we squeeze the wires together a liiiiiiiittle harder. I believe this is as effective as me talking to my computer. It's like, if I yell at it enough, the virus will get scared and just go away. Or maybe my baby-of-a-computer will love me enough to continue working instead of letting me cry in vain at it. Lol.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? You take it on faith man. *Grins.* It'll take a while to count stars, but if by George I'm sitting on that bench - I wanna check the paint. Heck, even if someone told me that the paint was wet, I would probably check it because I'm the moron I am.
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try? Actually, I've become a master of finding the right side. You look for the seams - at least if it's a trash bag. w00tiness.
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? I've never expected anything to materialize, per se. I just hope that the next time I look in on the fridge that something will come to mind for the pathetic victuals that I have. I mean, surely there'll be a new combination for mustard, a half a bag of lettuce and some spoiled milk some day!
dogone
And my FAVORITE……
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends — if they’re okay, then it’s you.
it is ok dog
So we can dance around naked LOL
HAPPY NEW YEAR DEAR YOU....... fanks for being such a wonderful part of me blobbing world..
peace always
x
must be 101 dalmations.
E.T. dog
lol..Happy New Year hugssssssss from your friend in NYC!:)
Happy New Year to you and yours ..be safe..MY Friend
Post a Comment